Work Haiku

 

I sit at my desk
And drink way too much hot tea…
then I pee and pee.

 

Often, boredom leads
to masturbation, but best
not do it at work.

 

My tape dispenser
looks like an alligator…
well…uh…not really.

 

Boy, I'm glad I don't
have freaky extra kidneys
after all this tea.

 

Makin' poos at work,
Folks spread their stench in public.
Have their guts rotted!?

 

Smells from the breakroom
at midday — is that the scent
of hot roadkill sweat?

Who would be eating
a tupperware dish filled with
rancid squid and ass?

 

With nail clipper out,
I lean over the trash can.
Snip! Snip! Snip! Snip! Snip!

 

Oops…I fart. I'm glad
I have a desk fan; odors
dis'pate from my cube.

 

Eb smiles down on me
from my cube wall: my pers'nly
autographed glossy:

"To Bryan Hello
from Green Acres…God bless you
Tom Lester 'Eb'" — Cool!

 

Only one hour and
seven minutes before I
can go the hell home!